I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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