Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
