I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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