I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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