i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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