drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
