i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
