let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he puts the penis in happiness.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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