You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
