i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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