She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
