im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
