the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
