I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
