So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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