we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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