i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize