Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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