So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Randomize
