A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
