physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
