She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize