just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I want her autograph on my taint
You may now shotgun with the bride
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
