I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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