69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
