you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
