I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
