never play flip cup with pint glasses
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
