I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
