Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
