well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
