what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you win again, gameday.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
