So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
