is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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