I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
