Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
operation harelip BJ is a go
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
