Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
