New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
