she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize