So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
