I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
