Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
