That's intense
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Girls should come with a carfax report
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
