I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
