Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It's blow job season.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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