Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
