god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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