the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
