Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
