is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
