Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
