lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
