I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
