OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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