He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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