Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
