I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
