i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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