Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Congratulations! We have a period
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