I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
