Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
