He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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