did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
