is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
