We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
