does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
