Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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