Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
