Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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