try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
