to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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