to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
now i know why i became what i already was.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My liver just had a heart attack.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
