I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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