So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
