One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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