If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
